DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder)

Going back to what has been in my life. There have always been 3 different personalities or 3 characters that I’m  aware have helped me overcome some of the life challenges, as well as being the cause of my downfall of some of my relationships and at some point priceless friendships to end. I have never thought that being a problem or thought it was a challenge or anything like that. After all, we are told to behave different according to where we are. We cannot have the same behavior at home as we do at school, sometimes even our believes need to stay at home also… Or so is what I’ve experienced, but what exactly am I talking about?

Called Multiple Personality Disorder until 1994, Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is a severe condition in which at least two distinct identities, or personality states, are present in—and alternately take control of—an individual (OMG, I knew people get possessed. This is proof the Illuminati exist… lol). The person also experiences memory loss that is too extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness.

I don’t think is so much as memory loss, but rather memories misplacement, after all those memories are still somewhere stored there, just you will find them with whatever character is the one to have experienced them.

Explaining how the mind works is never easy, but as one can best explain what is happening. When I sat down daily to write down or record what is happening with me emotionally, is when I got to the conclusion or realization that I didn’t have a tendency to change my pastime and what activity I loved the most, but instead I was dealing with personas showing their own self-image, behaviors,  and even name.

Although, I do not have everything figured out, and maybe I never get to have it all down, I think is important to finally recognized couple things in my life. First of all since the transition or transformation from one identity to another are often triggered by psychosocial stress, there might be ways to minimize how often it happens if  good strategies to deal with stress are implemented. And second, now I know I have never been talking alone all this time… lol, more like my alters have been having conversations with themselves. Lastly, is true sometimes you might get more than you bargained for, in this instance I like to think is more of you get X amount for the price of 1. LOL

 

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

 

You could find some more read on this subject from:
Psychology Today
WebMD
Wikipedia

Visuals always inspire Music

Ken Ueda

I’ve had the chance to work with Ken in some of the writing  challenges  of two verses or random subjects a few times now. It is always fun to have someone you can understand at a creative level. Since he has the talent to achieve his dream of becoming a rockstar, I figured we also do a photo session and get him the  portrait/cover he can benefit from.

Can toys help you express yourself?

It’s been some time now that I have been trying to post some pictures in Instagram using only Legos. I started with the lego figures I would randomly find that my kids lost somewhere or had misplaced, then eventually I got fond of some figures and decided to get some of my own. 😀 Since I’ve manged to keep my mind occupied on something when I am stressing out, and need some relieve. Taking couple snaps sometimes is all I need to keep on. Here are some of my favorite shots since I started

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Who wastes time writing this…

Hello… I am a legion of ideas and Personas, but my name is Jahaziel. I am a poet in search of life’s light and happiness. I have written 3 poetry books up to date. I wish to write a novel and hopefully I have the opportunity to do so in the near future.

For my own sake, I am now writing a bit more on my opinions on life and my journey on finding happiness, since life is too short and my memory scattered and unavailable most of the time. I figured if I keep my thoughts, believes and experiences saved somewhere other than my mind, perhaps they can come in handy for my kids in the future or someone else might benefit from what someone like myself can and is able to say. The world is full of colors, beauty, dangers and is constantly changing. Like the world I think my life, my opinions, my views, my persona seems to change but when viewed in detail one can see that not much really changes with the world itself, but is our surrounding that is constantly changing. We can either feed the beast inside us, or become the food being fed by the beast around us.

 

Horse Head

Devil’s String(s) (6th Verse Challenge)

Ken’s verses (Ken’s Twitter)

I’m just a dancing puppet tied to the devil’s strings
But i know why Eve couldn’t resist the fruit
My memories scattered, my heart in pieces
But none of that matters when im with you

These strings on my back pull me from all thats good
Youre smile is the only thing keeping me sane
Call me crazy and tell me im out of my mind
Im twisted and you’re sick but we feel the same

 

Jahaziel’s Verses

The sun settles one more time,
I’ve made it trough another spring
another year of depressing words
that your soul even sting.

Another endless summer
that happiness won’t bring
but now I see and think
That parent’s bring the devil’s string

Transcending Love

I should really thank our friends
for adding you into our crew.
I wish the exact moment I felt in love, I knew…
but I don’t have a clue.
Could it be the moment I laid eyes on you?
Could it be when I caressed your tattoo?
To see you again thousand miles I flew
for I knew what I felt, was pure and true.

My heart ached and cried when I didn’t have you
This love transcends poetry and romantic words
You are my love, so amazing
thinking of living without you hurts
I could sacrifice my body, my wealth, anything for you
You’ve shown me happiness and true love works.

I would travel for days just to see you smile,
If loving someone so much makes me a fool,
If happiness arrives when seeing you just a while
then let’s put love to test on this aisle
for you I can change the world
and my own lifestyle
for there aren’t any better or enough words to say
“I love you, you are the one for me”

Copyright ©2015 Jahaziel E Magana

Visit the entire event gallery

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Visit the entire event gallery

waiting in line -5th Challenge

Jahaziel Verses

Civilization calm but I resent, and can’t accept it.
I can’t make your god or custom’s mine
You can’t force your believes
Thinking what you were taught comes from the Divine.

What makes you think the world revolves around you
And if you say so, it makes things fine.
Why don’t you just shut up a little,
suck a dick, choke on it, swallow it, and get your ass back in line.

 

Ken’s verses (Ken’s Twitter)

Another endless portal or I think I’ve started spinning
In my mind oh no wait, that’s just me down there day dreaming
Did you tie a rope around my heart and let it dangle like a key chain
Cause now it swings like those pendulum things all God damn day

I might be waiting for an angel or begging death for a long kiss
But one thing’s clear, I’m just rotting here and I want to get off this list
You’re an agreeable contradiction and I’m the devils own form of karma
I’ll take the bullet over a Bible and end my survival but waiting in line, I just don’t wanna… (do)

4th Challenge (Fat Chicks)

Ken’s verses (Ken’s Twitter)

Big fat chicks you’re crazy huge, sometimes so unreal
Especially the ones that look in my eyes and see a Mchappy meal
I know you worship Meagan T. for her song “all about that bass”
but bitch you need some treble too when your wrist is as thick as my waist

If we’d date. I’d go broke, i’m sure in not too long
but what scares me most is what happens next when the moneys gone
With teary eyes I’ll say to you “we have nothing left to eat”
and you’d reply “fuck you man! go deep fry me your jeans”

 

Jahaziel’s Verse

Blood on the arm, blood on the ground
A cut that you self inflict
a tear falls again
for that selfish prick,

Your mind didn’t, but your heart did pick
doesn’t matter if he did hit or kick
didn’t matter if those words get her sick
didn’t matter if he calls her a fat chick.

Verse Challenge #3 (struck down)

My turn to pick the words/phrase, so I chose “struck down”

JEM’s Verses (That’s me)

I woke up all happy
but now is an obvious frown
Last night was a tough night
to be out while brown.

I remember the lights
the sound and the people in gown
I remember that dark blue uniform
of the guy who struck me down

Ken’s verses (Ken’s Twitter)

Although slick Rick had a big dick
He cut his wrists, slit. Called it quits
Left his wife and kids with a cicatrix
A pain inside that you just can’t fix

Shes by my side but I feel struck down
I’ll fake smile but I won’t stick around
She looks so happy in her night gown
but this trigger says i’m off to Ricks town

Verse Challege II

As we shared some laughs on our last challenge, Ken picked the writing subject about. Again same rules, two verses each. Words chosen ‘Rubbers and Fishnets’

 

Ken’s verses (Ken’s Twitter)

Alone, vulnerable and so misunderstood
she knows she’s got the upper hand and she knows that she could
bring me down right to my knees and have me plead so desperately
This bitch, she’s got a smile on her face like she loves to watch me bleed.

She says she wants to suck me raw tonight without any rubber
lips as soft as the kiss of death I swear I started to stutter
then you realize the devil doesn’t come to bring any obvious pain
she comes wearing fishnets and high heels with an angel’s face.

JEM’s Verses (That’s me) 😀

You called me a ‘beaner’, and I got mad
with your mascara and fishnets you’re still the best I’ve had
if I’m a beaner, does it make you a trailer trash?
my rod caught your fish, without rubber after our crash

You loved and moaned it, screaming my name
your ass I owned it, you did it all without shame.
why must you phone me, to say we’re all the same
what we had was a big game, and your lover on your face just came?