Louder than Ever

I kept my thoughts for you hidden
for so long pilling them on a big stack
I kept my words a secret
but now I no longer can hold back.

Many years I stared at your eyes
lost in them I wouldn’t have noticed the apocalypse.
For many years now
I haven’t thought anything would taste better than your lips.
For so long I’ve held so long
the desire if not to speak at least flirt,
biting my lips, scratching my hands to not act
holding back so strongly my soul and body hurt.

So long I delighted myself on the beauty
and amazing feeling of seeing you smile,
but could not express my content
due to that fear so juvenile.

Louder than ever,
I want to express myself with my hobby
thinking wisely my words so
my thoughts don’t come up all sloppy,
and my desire too strong
to touch and feel your body.

©2013 Jahaziel E Magana

Amor que alguna vez existio

Me dices que me amaste como nunca antes
y me diste todo, pero a tu manera.
Como quieres que te crea, si siempre hablaste
pero tu actitud, nunca fue cincera.
Antes de ti, Rompi corazones
nunca me enamore, excepto contigo
quiza por eso ahora este trato
este sentimiento que es un castigo.
Estos pensamientos que aumentan mi llanto
y la musica que levanta mi canto,
se que no te lo mereces que te quiera tanto.

Estoy aqui en el suelo, abandonado
pues esperanza alguna ya no tengo
no estoy enojado, pero si desilucionado,
si te quieres ir, ya no te detengo.
Me canse de tanto rechazo
no me das ni una sonriza, como si algo malo tengo.
Que le paso a aquella persona
quien hizo alguna vez un verano de mi invierno,
quien compartia conmigo un presente y futuro tan tierno.
Dime quien es esta persona ahora
que de mi vida hace todo un infierno.

No es de despecho,
sino de rabia que cae mi llanto
pues fue hace poco que al besarme
por hacerte feliz me agradecias tanto.
Cuando tanto amor por mi corria por tus venas
y ahora me dices que soy quien causa tus penas.

Para ti es una escuza, para mi es una razon
Mi actitud es respuesta de la tuya aunque sea raro
pero hoy mas que nunca
que no somos uno para el otro es muy claro.

©2013 Jahaziel E Magana

Walking your own path

Its often from children and younger adults that we learn the best attitude and creative ideas. I’ve often admired the teenager ‘own the world’ attitude. I’ve seen them try out from silly to way out of their league goals or dares. The Curious babies and younger kids who will cautiously or abruptly try to find out the limits of what they can do and what they can’t get away with.

At some point while we are growing up all those good attitudes fade off, and we are full of fear to try out things, we don’t dare to test our limits, and we end up walking a pre-determined path that life and society has set up for us without daring to bend the path or walk maybe on the same direction but in our own way.

its your choice where you step
its your choice where you step

A try at something out of my league…

Along with many people, taking pictures outside or while daylight brightens our subject is a lot easier than taking a pic of our subject at night or barely any light. As I keep trying to not only better my photography vision but also come to grips with what I want to do with my photography (though I’m told I might get to struggle with this all throughout my career).
As I’ve been called to take some pics of Motorcycles and cars, I thought I come up with a new skill and take the picture of the car at night.

Corvette coming out of Garage
Corvette coming out of Garage

Corvette front

As I started to get ready for the images I realize the complexity of the session I had just created. Starting with the location; the cars garage, which is not only used by the car but also hosts the family’s unwanted and unused items, some cabinets, cleaning supplies along with other not so pleasant to the eye items. Facing this I knew I couldn’t do a full shot of the car without showing the background, or if I did and I was to keep the image I had to do some post production and remove the busy background. After a few tries, I was able to take couple images, that in my opinion are not bad, but they could definitely be better, and next time they will be 😀

Basketball Skills

[slideshow_deploy id=’238′]Sunday Morning I went to see one of my friends Basketball skills, I had seen some pictures of him playing basketball and was curious to see what I could do to show off his skills. After talking to him briefly and checking his skills on a friendly match at the court. I asked him if he could do some shoots and moves for me. After he agreed, I went all out and brought some of my equipment in. I knew the light could help me make the image stand out a bit more, but my canon gear would fall short.

I went with the Photoflex TritonFlash, and their medium softbox which makes a combination mighty amazing. I am still in love with the Photoflex equipment. Being a Portrait photographer I was inclined to stay with a longer lens, as I had been taking pictures of the game with my telephoto 100-400m, but I am glad I opted to change that when the lights were all set up.

I am pretty amazed of the result, I know I will have to come up with something to top those images up soon. Here’s my One-on-One Basketball session.

Slam Dunk
Steven’s Slam Dunk

Slam dunk air
On the air for slam dun
3-pointer
Shooting a 3-pointer

Karaoke Night

For some years now, I’ve always wanted to spend some evening hanging out with my dad out in town or just out for dinner. Last Friday I finally got to spend some fun time at one of our local restaurants where they have a karaoke night. Where I must admit I had a good time. Though I am not usually into my dad’s type of music, there are many songs I do enjoy. Some of them were performed by my Dad’s friend and talented singer Ramon Lopez. The lovely host; Edith Del Sol, among others.

For some time now I have been trying to carry my camera everywhere I go and either take a picture of film something of what I get to see and do…

Writer’s block

There have been many times when I see an old acquaintance and they often ask me if I still write, that’s a question I have thought of and asked myself.
It’s only been couple years since my second poetry book “Changed” got published. A title which I thought explained my mentality and life perspective; where I was writing not just poetry but a novel as well. I often got inspiration from Jay Parini who I looked up to, as I was also writing poetry and fiction like him.

Looking back at those years… Perhaps I shared my vision too soon with too many wrong people. Soon after I couldn’t take and see the positive on their criticism and opinions on what I should or shouldn’t include. Until I eventually stopped writing.

The expression writer’s block became so over used, specially as an excused to satisfy myself with a reason to put my story away. I’ve always liked what Jay wrote for a piece on a writer’s handbook edition “Writer’s block is not so much the lack of a story to tell as a lack of confidence to tell it.” What he wrote was perfect on my case. I had became so insecure of my own words, my mind would not cope with my fear.

I’ve only written a handful of poems since then for the few people who came in my life and gave me the confidence to show my poetic side to them.
Thinking back and seeing my unfinished stories gets me somehow sand and regretful. I should have paid more attention and follow suggestions like Jane Yolen’s who says to “Learn to write not with blood and fear, but with Joy”

I am a creative person and I’m happiest when I’m creating. Doesn’t matter if it’s a poem, a web site, video, image or story.
Perhaps now I can embrace the joy on creating and beat the many years now of writer’s block.

My Favorite Wall

I recently was able to see my work on a wall instead of storage, I must admit it looked better than I expected. For couple months I’ve been trying to find a location where I could display some of my canvas. Previously I had a piece here and there on other galleries/expo but its the first time I get to see my work displayed in an entire wall. I must say that I truly enjoy it. It inspires me to try and accomplish having a full gallery of my work, which hopefully I do get to achieve in the near future.

Art Canvas on wall
Art pieces displayed